i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
