and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
