I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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