accomplished twins. life is a go
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
