I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
