Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
