She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
