God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I believe in your delicious
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
