Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You need a sexual gate keeper
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
