You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I have tasted many bathrooms
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
