so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
