Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
