oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
