You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
