I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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