Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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