In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
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