we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
