im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
