i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
