Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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