wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
