Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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