No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
