I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
