If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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