not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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