He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
