i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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