I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
