i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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