nut hugger
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize