Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize