Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
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