after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
