Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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