Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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