i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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