need another drink. this is the easiest way
plz talk dirty to me
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
