you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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