I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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