On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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