Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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