Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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