I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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