he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
