Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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