the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
please come you make the beer taste better
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My vagina is very pro this idea
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
