NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
