It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
