walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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