Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My balls are so social today.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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