found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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