Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
