butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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