So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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