The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
