last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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