i just google imaged poop.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
