Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Still dying that you shit outside
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
