If you die in college, do you die in real life?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
