You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
