you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Text me some of your sweat
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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